03.01.07
Okay, okay - I get it!
My body has finally decided to make me stop being caretaker to the world. I have been diagnosed with Graves Disease. The really bizarre thing about all of this is that X’s live-in girlfriend/partner of the last 13 years has Graves. That was one reason why she couldn’t care for him when he was dying or pick up the pieces after he died. The disease is triggered by intense grief (often from the death of a loved one) or stress. The stress I’ve had for years now, though it certainly was compounded recently. The grief was very intense. Now I’m trying not to be stressed out about this illness. Last week, I thought I was going to die. I have never felt so sick in my life. My pulse, when I woke up in the morning, was 128. I’ve always had a slow pulse and low blood pressure. I was also shaking 24 hours a day, like really shaking. I’m finally taking some things that have calmed things down a bit, though I do get exhausted very quickly. Boy, I really need a vacation now. In the meantime, I’ve started a new schedule of going to bed by 9:30 pm and waking up at 5:30 am. Yikes! That’s a tough change. However, it’s giving me time in the morning to do things for myself like my journal writing and writing or practicing music, time to have a good breakfast, and time to hang out in a relaxed way with Grandsweetie before going off to work. My days have been so much less stressful as a result. Thanks to my wonderful partner! And… I’m planning to get back to writing my life stories again now that I have made time in the morning. I don’t have X to ask about details anymore, so I’d better get to work before it all disappears.
Lise said,
August 23, 2007 at 10:01 pm
Hi Deb,
I just wanted you to know I was here. I can attest to the fact that being a musician with medical issues or not feeling well at a gig can be very difficult. I hope things are better for you.
Much love…