Cavanaugh & Kavanaugh writing and more
Got the bodhran! Help! Now what?
Actually it’s quite fun. But, I must say, it’s hard to play at a slow beat. Practice is in order. I can and I will. Only two weeks before our last recording session. If I can figure out how to post a mp3 of me playing it I will. To be continued.
Whew! Somehow, I can’t seem to continue to keep this up. Between working, taking care of a 3 1/2 year old, gigging and life, why can’t I find the time to do one more thing? I love the idea of blogging, it’s just time consuming. I do continue to journal every morning. Once in a while I skip a day, but mostly I manage to keep up. Dick asked me last night if I thought anyone would ever actually read it someday. I never really thought about it before. I suppose my grandchildren or maybe my great-grandchildren will be interested somewhat. If I write with that in mind though, I may not feel as free to write what I am really inspired to write at the time. I don’t want to censor my journal any more than I already do. When my grandfather died, we found a couple of his journals. It was fascinating to read through them. He had just left home for the first time and was in pharmacy school. It was very cool to get to know my grandfather - the real person that I never knew - through his writings. I actually made a decision last month that I want to focus more on my music and less on extras. As a result, I have started taking a dulcimer class once a week for 6 weeks. When that is over, I’m going to take something else. It forces me to put in my own practice time in each week. I would like to do even more than I have, but at least I’m doing some, and it’s more than I was doing. Unfortunately, I am a fast learner, so it doesn’t take a lot of practice to get ahead. Imagine what I could do if I put more time into it. I am working more this year than I have before. I have another student and started another music class, “Fun With Music”, for 4 - 7 year-olds. I’m also teaching more Music Together classes and should be buying the Albany site soon. OMG, then I’ll be running a growing business in addition to everything else! We also will probably be running the Open Stage at the new Eighth Step site in Schenectady. Thankfully, we will be rotating it with other hosts, so it will end up being only once a month. So…just how full can my life be with music anyway?
Well, I think that Scrooge had it right. Bah, humbug! That’s how I feel this year. In less than a week, and right before Solstice and Christmas, we found out that X has very serious lung cancer. We all spent days and nights at the hospital after he was rushed by ambulance to the ER and put on a respirator for 5 days. We didn’t think he was going to make it at all. Now he’s being told he has about a year to live. He is 51 years old! We had a whirlwind life together with lots of adventures and even more drama. He is one of my oldest friends. I realized how much I count on him to remember details about those years. He’s always been the one to keep track of names and dates, etc. None of us have even had a chance to get used to the idea yet. We’ve been thrust into management mode. We have to figure out how he’s going to survive this year and where he’s going to be. He can’t live a half-hour away in a run-down moldy trailer in the woods without people around to help him out. He’s on oxygen now and can’t get around very well. He certainly can’t drive himself anywhere. None of our three children have cars, and only one of them has a license. There is a huge support network here that would be an enormous help and already has been helping these past two weeks. I have to just stop and cry sometimes so I can think clearly again. I want to write a song, but can’t get there yet. I’m sure I will eventually. I actually sat down and played the guitar for a little while today for the first time in two weeks. Grandsweetie is out of school until Wed., RC2 is out of school for the next month for intersession apprenticeships, work, community service and/or travel, and I would like to have my house to myself for at least a little while. I can’t even imagine what RC2 must be going through now. He is 16-years old and facing losing his father to lung and possibly bone cancer within a year. I’m so glad he has his music to sustain him somewhat. I really want my music back, and not just gigs, either. I feel like I’m maintaining by playing gigs and doing my promo stuff, but I want my songwriting and practice back. I remember when music was my life. Now it’s pretty much turned into business. Thankfully, it’s still lots of fun and inspires me greatly. All of this will pass, and things will be back on track. I can’t wait!
This is fondly known in my immediate family as “birthday week.” Mine was a couple of days ago; Fyre’s is today - Happy Birthday! - And my youngest, RC2, has a birthday the next day. In addition, there are lots of friends whose birthdays fall in this general time frame. My theory is that in the later fall, the weather gets chilly and folks start getting pretty cozy. Next thing you know, we end up with lots of babies in the late summer. I used to cringe during my fertile days when October/November rolled around. I’ve had more pregnancies than I’d like to recall with only three going full term. I am very lucky to have those three and my two grands. I am also very lucky to be able to relax when those cozy, cuddly months come around now. Menopause, once you get through the years long roller coaster ride, is actually a wonderful thing. Anyway, I’m getting off-track here. I remember waiting for Fyre. She was due on my birthday. X thought it would be fun to throw me a small birthday party. Everyone sat around watching me, waiting for something to happen. It was one of the weirdest birthdays I’ve ever had - and I’ve had a lot of them. I finally went to bed and let them party without me. Sure enough, as soon as I went into our bedroom, the party kicked in. They could only think about Fyre’s impending birth with me in the room. Luckily she didn’t come the next day, because everyone was hung over and wouldn’t have been any help at all. X’s sister had come down from San Francisco to be here when Fyre arrived and was getting impatient. We were all so naive. They all believed that if that were the due date, that was when she would come. I knew better, but there was no telling them. Anyway, the 2nd day after my birthday, soon after dinner (during which I had again been the entertainment as we all watched Fyre roll around in utero knocking over my plate of spaghetti that had been balancing on my huge belly), my water broke. I had originally planned to hitchhike to the hospital, but had been talked out of it by my now best friend who had gotten busted in Disneyland with us a few weeks before. I guess she was the sensible one, if any of us had any sense at all. We called the doctor, then her for a heads up (she was the only one in our circle of friends with a car, which is probably why I had figured on hitching a ride) and managed to stay home until morning. I had hoped to avoid repeating my mother’s tendency to have long, hard labors, but was doomed by heredity and scoliosis. I ended up being induced with pitocin in the late morning. It was horrible. My contractions immediately went from very mild to very hard and fast. It was still many more hours with a grumpy substitute doctor. I was very happy to see and hold my lovely daughter, who has grown up to be FyreGoddess. Her aunt, X’s sister, had waited patiently and gazed at her through a window. I know they say that babies can’t see very far or well at that age, but we all swore that their eyes connected at that moment, and I know they always had a special bond. My life was changing very rapidly. Here I was a married woman, whom I swore I would never be, and now a mother too. I was completely in love with my daughter and very excited to take on this new challenge. I felt a part of something and complete for the first time in my life. I was ecstatic!