12.29.06
Posted in babble, holidays, life at 3:22 pm by Deb
Well, I think that Scrooge had it right. Bah, humbug! That’s how I feel this year. In less than a week, and right before Solstice and Christmas, we found out that X has very serious lung cancer. We all spent days and nights at the hospital after he was rushed by ambulance to the ER and put on a respirator for 5 days. We didn’t think he was going to make it at all. Now he’s being told he has about a year to live. He is 51 years old! We had a whirlwind life together with lots of adventures and even more drama. He is one of my oldest friends. I realized how much I count on him to remember details about those years. He’s always been the one to keep track of names and dates, etc. None of us have even had a chance to get used to the idea yet. We’ve been thrust into management mode. We have to figure out how he’s going to survive this year and where he’s going to be. He can’t live a half-hour away in a run-down moldy trailer in the woods without people around to help him out. He’s on oxygen now and can’t get around very well. He certainly can’t drive himself anywhere. None of our three children have cars, and only one of them has a license. There is a huge support network here that would be an enormous help and already has been helping these past two weeks. I have to just stop and cry sometimes so I can think clearly again. I want to write a song, but can’t get there yet. I’m sure I will eventually. I actually sat down and played the guitar for a little while today for the first time in two weeks. Grandsweetie is out of school until Wed., RC2 is out of school for the next month for intersession apprenticeships, work, community service and/or travel, and I would like to have my house to myself for at least a little while. I can’t even imagine what RC2 must be going through now. He is 16-years old and facing losing his father to lung and possibly bone cancer within a year. I’m so glad he has his music to sustain him somewhat. I really want my music back, and not just gigs, either. I feel like I’m maintaining by playing gigs and doing my promo stuff, but I want my songwriting and practice back. I remember when music was my life. Now it’s pretty much turned into business. Thankfully, it’s still lots of fun and inspires me greatly. All of this will pass, and things will be back on track. I can’t wait!
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12.09.06
Posted in Uncategorized, holidays at 7:03 pm by Deb
I promised I would give more info about the “Snow Fairies.” I figured it wasn’t really fair to ask a three-year old to just give up Santa, so I decided that the Snow Fairies would come to our house as part of our Solstice celebration. They come randomly starting on Dec. 1st, leaving small gifts on our candle table while we are asleep. I’ve found that this dispels a lot of the anxiety around that “one big blowout day.” They don’t come every day, but often enough to keep the magic alive. They often leave new candles or candleholders as well as toys, trinkets, or warm clothing like scarves or mittens. Here is a story I wrote about the snow fairies that I have copywritten but not found an illustrator for, yet. If you are an illustrator and are interested, please contact me.
Winter Solstice ©2006 Deb Cavanaugh
On the longest night, as winter breathes a frosty sigh and reaches icy fingers across the sky, through starlight and moon bright, the snow fairies begin to dance down their blanket of white. They dance down a blanket of company, comfort, and plenty for all. They dance for those who believe the light will come again. They dance to every child young or old, happy or sad, asleep or awake, alone or together. They bring dreams of peace and light and hands holding hands around the whole wide world. We light our twenty-one candles this night. Their heat and brightness warm our hearts. We sing songs of light and love and the beauty and harshness of winter. Our voices ring through the cold quiet night. We sleep deeply. We wake in the morning to small gifts the snow fairies have left - warm sweaters, scarves and mittens, slippers for chilled toes, a light-up top and hope for another day.
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11.28.06
Posted in poetry, babble, holidays at 12:44 pm by Deb
It’s that time of year again when everyone goes nuts, stressing out, driving aggressively, going into debt and forgetting what the season should really be about. Every year I notice decorations going up earlier and the crazy rush of traffic getting earlier as well. A friend of mine told me about returning to New York from New Jersey at 2 am on “Black Friday” and getting stuck in a huge traffic jam at the first tollbooth on the Thruway, just over the New York border. Apparently, there is a big mall there. People were backed up for miles trying to be one of the first in line for the big bargains. It really amazes me that this is what American culture has become. A few years ago I wrote this poem. I guess it’s time to post it up here. The end of it is sung to the very end of the tune “Twelve days of Christmas.” Hope you enjoy it. I do!
Xmas Wrap © Deb Cavanaugh
Twas 2 months before Christmas and all through the stores
nothing was moving. We had to sell more.
We’d tried all the gimmicks save one that can’t fail -
our annual pre-Halloween Christmas sale.
The stock market was hung in the balance with care
in hopes that great profit soon would be there.
Displays were all lit and then rearranged.
The mood of the store had been drastically changed.
All through the wee hours, anticipation mounted.
Maybe the sleds should have been discounted.
But the lines had all formed. People jammed at the door.
One minute to go til we open the store.
And we heard the boss say as he turned on the light,
“Merry Christmas to all, and we hope the price is right.”
At the end of the day, as employees departed,
we had all of this, and we’d only just started.
12 fainting ladies - 11 heart attacks - 10 cashiers quitting
9 broken TVs - 8 stolen purses - 7 crying babies - 6 mothers screaming
5 - bouncing checks
4 accidents - 3 lost kids - 2 shoplifters
and a Santa bouncing children on his knee.
Happy Holidays, whatever holiday you celebrate and whenever you celebrate it. We all celebrate at different times during the next few months. Please slow down and notice the people around you and the beauty in the world. We only live once, our children grow up in the blink of an eye, and it’s a shame to look back on our lives with regret. Please stay tuned - I will be writing about our Solstice celebrations soon. We start on Friday, Dec. 1st with our daily candle lighting. When I left my ex-husband, I decided I didn’t want to battle over who would be with our kids during Christmas. I always hated the commercialism anyway, so I decided to celebrate the Winter Solstice. I invented a wonderful ritual which includes “snow fairies” instead of Santa. More to come…
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