12.29.06
Bah, Humbug!
Well, I think that Scrooge had it right. Bah, humbug! That’s how I feel this year. In less than a week, and right before Solstice and Christmas, we found out that X has very serious lung cancer. We all spent days and nights at the hospital after he was rushed by ambulance to the ER and put on a respirator for 5 days. We didn’t think he was going to make it at all. Now he’s being told he has about a year to live. He is 51 years old! We had a whirlwind life together with lots of adventures and even more drama. He is one of my oldest friends. I realized how much I count on him to remember details about those years. He’s always been the one to keep track of names and dates, etc. None of us have even had a chance to get used to the idea yet. We’ve been thrust into management mode. We have to figure out how he’s going to survive this year and where he’s going to be. He can’t live a half-hour away in a run-down moldy trailer in the woods without people around to help him out. He’s on oxygen now and can’t get around very well. He certainly can’t drive himself anywhere. None of our three children have cars, and only one of them has a license. There is a huge support network here that would be an enormous help and already has been helping these past two weeks. I have to just stop and cry sometimes so I can think clearly again. I want to write a song, but can’t get there yet. I’m sure I will eventually. I actually sat down and played the guitar for a little while today for the first time in two weeks. Grandsweetie is out of school until Wed., RC2 is out of school for the next month for intersession apprenticeships, work, community service and/or travel, and I would like to have my house to myself for at least a little while. I can’t even imagine what RC2 must be going through now. He is 16-years old and facing losing his father to lung and possibly bone cancer within a year. I’m so glad he has his music to sustain him somewhat. I really want my music back, and not just gigs, either. I feel like I’m maintaining by playing gigs and doing my promo stuff, but I want my songwriting and practice back. I remember when music was my life. Now it’s pretty much turned into business. Thankfully, it’s still lots of fun and inspires me greatly. All of this will pass, and things will be back on track. I can’t wait!
Angel said,
December 29, 2006 at 4:14 pm
I send my well-wishes to you and him. I really hope the best for him and that he manages to get the most out of his life. I’ve never had to face something like this with someone I care for, but I can imagine I wouldn’t handle it very well. He is very lucky to have the support of you, and your children.
I origionally stopped by to thank you for your comment on my post about talking to your teen. Thank you for your insite and for what you had to say. I appreciate it. Good luck with writing the song you’d like to write.